Breaks In Between

 Have you ever wondered how life relates to eternity?  Well, let me share how recently I have struggled with a few things, and in doing so I have been able to make it to another side of my own growth. This does not mean my growth hasn’t had breaks in movement or emotional, however, it does mean for each break it has allowed me to reflect, ponder, grow, and even stumble. This is the beginning of Re-beginnings. 

The Color From Within

Have you ever really looked into the person sitting next to you? How about as you are reading their Facebook messages, or even text messages? The words are more than words, they are being written by a real person. That person may be holding a huge burden that only their words give them freedom, but too many times we read those words and think it is about the reader. How self-centered are we to think that everything written is about me the reader. While reading the words, have you ever stopped to think about the writer? The colors from within are sometimes expressed in words. Sometimes those words are rough and sharp around the corners, but still the same it is a window into the life of the writer.

Take a look at the flower, she is getting ready to break forth with new color. All the while, she has been this green lanky, stalk, reaching toward Heaven's light. She has so much to give, and had I been busy complaining about her growth, or even passing judgement I may not have even noticed how she is held together. Her colors are screaming to come out. She has so much beauty to give, and I am glad she is a part of my life.

How many times do we wish someone would just take a minute to look at our color within us? How many times do we ask the question, "how are you", and just keep walking? Do we take the moment to really look into the eyes of those around us? In the scriptures, we are told by our loving Jesus Christ, that the "eyes are the windows to the soul". While passing judgement on the unknown and unseen colors, the writer maybe hurting, and you maybe what that person needs to get through a rough day. Do not think that you are wiser than the One who created you, because a time will come when your colors will be bursting forth, and you will be overlooked too.

Growth

Growth hurts, reaching upward toward the light I find my only strength. I reach for the heavens, bringing forth the beauty locked deep within. The others look at me and make comments about my growth. I speak my heart as I grow, I speak direct, and others judge me, and cut me off. They think they truly know me, but they have never looked with in my heart. My roots continue to gain strength and depth. I see what lies ahead, and I desire more.
The words of a bulb as it grows is much like my own. As I grow and make decisions, others look on and make their opinions known in many ways. They cut me off, treat me like I am not in the same room, they only call when they need something, but when I need a response they do not return the call, or the text message. we call ourselves "Christian", and we say we forgive, or have worked it out, but when it really counts the actions given say, "I have the right to treat you this way because you deserve it."
Just like the growth in the bulb reaching for the light, I too can grow. I reach for the light each day. I may be rejected by those who once called themselves my friends, but I remember when they too needed the light and reached toward a friend and she was there. I made the mistake of turning to a "friend" and was seeking suggestions, and I knew I should have just kept reaching for the light. It has never been the same. It was never the same once the bulb was put into the soil. Just like the bulb, either I can grow or die, and I choose to grow, even when it hurts.

Busting up and reaching for the light

Reaching for the light has become this little flowers goal. In just a week more green and growth. It was not an easy process, growing in any form hurts. If a person could hear the sounds a flower makes as she is reaching for the light, we may shed a few tears in the process ourselves. My own growth has been challenging too. Last time I spoke about the delima, the new job, and the leap of faith. What I did not mention was the pain it took to get there. I find it very important to stay focused and strong. I have habit of not letting anyone in except my own personal Light. Jesus is always right there. He hears me in the quiet of the night, and when the pain becomes too hard He is the one who lifts me and understands me.

When you look at this little flower it is hard to believe she was only a bulb a couple of weeks ago, fresh out of the box, and ready for a new journey. She knew that she had a purpose,it was to grow and become all she could, but the journey does not mean it will be easy. My own journey is similar to that of the bulb. I have a new position at Church and that journey has been an interesting one too. I found myself asking Heavenly Father why I was asked to be in this position, and I received the answer when I went to the "Time Out For Women". There I learned that it is my strengths that are valuable. I also know that I have growth yet to be discovered and so does the flower.

When you look at the flower she is green, and getting strong. When you look at me, you will see a lady trying to learn about herself in the new position at Church and to become efficient at the new job. The journey for both of us is far from over, but the only thing we can do is bust up and reach for the light.

Step 2 to Growth

As you can see the last blog was a few weeks ago, and then it took some bumps to get this next one up. The process has begun. Just as with the preparation of the soil to help the flower to grow, my own life has needed some preparation. I was in a recent delima. I have been attending school, and working part time , but....my finances had dramatically changed. Now to the soil, it took some soaking...alot of soaking to get it where it was ready for the planting of the bulb. Once the soil was ready I took a spoon and began to toss the soil. My finances were in that same fix, soaking in water but ready to be turned. I had been applying anywhere. I had been offered another job, Church Distribution/Deseret Books, to coincide with my hours at the Scout Shop, but this meant some juggling as a Mom.

Soil is now ready for the bulb. Now I am going to plant the bulb to just the right spot so that it is not too deep or too exposed. well, I started my job, but with great reserve. I had applied at a local credit union, even went on an interview, but I did not hear back before I had accepted the job at Church Distribution/Deseret Books. The bulb is now in the soil...shock as it is going from dry to very moist...probably screaming to be removed...put back where it was comfortable. I was also in the same situation...wishing I was that little girl that could run home to my parents to comfort me while I found the job to provide and be certain I would be near love...always knowing my Heavenly Father was right beside me.

The soil is being placed carefully arouund the bulb for best coverage. Now, all that is exposed is the top of the bulb. My top was being exposed...no time to be a Mom with my new work schedule. I had to have faith...like that of the seed, knowing full well that I would be placed in the right spot. Sometimes faith means more than just walking it, but jumping into it. So I decided the best thing for my family was not less time, more money, but not enough to cover the bills...so, I quit that new job trusting that something better will come along. It did...Deseret First Credit Union...within hours of my total leap of faith. The seed has been planted...now what...return for more

Introductions to Growth

Have you ever asked yourself how life relates to you personally and spiritually? Well, an idea came with the inspiration of my oldest son, Andrew. He bought me an Amaryllis Apple Blossom bulb. Planting to blooming happens in 8-12 weeks for this plant. I thought that it would be wonderful to do some of my own spiritual planting and watch the growth in my life and relate it to the blooming of this beautiful flower. Over the next few weeks, we will watch the changes come in the growth of the flower and in my own weekly walk.

Soil, the pot, and, the bulb are provided for a beautiful flower to appear. In my life, my body, mind, and the abilities to pray and read the scriptures are provided for my own beauty to appear. Next Sunday, join me as the planting begins.